If only the rain had come earlier

I will not invoke the muse tonight. Senseless death does not call for it.

New Orleans is a city of fire. Destroyed twice by the licking flames, those fires returned in the early morning of December 28, 2010. A few short days after Christmas, too few days before the New Year. In that blaze was a friend, though the term could have been applied loosely in the past few years. Sammy was a friend from my past, a friend from local punk shows and carefree days before.  A friend that I knew well when I was 14, as we discovered life together for a period of time, and kept in touch with throughout the years. 

In efforts to hold back emotion, I am currently doing what too many people do, resorting to the creature comforts of whiskey. Whiskey I shared with Sammy at one time, passing a cheap bottle on the steps of the river.  Holding hands one night, he took me on a “date” to the rocks by the levee wall. He couldn’t afford to buy me dinner, so he did what he could and brought me to where he got dinner nightly; food provided by a charity organization that I was too ashamed to eat for fear that I would leave another hungry.

These are the memories I have of Sammy. A young man haunted by demons and addictions, but always with a smile to offer, a hug to give, and an opinion to spout. He was an intelligent person, with dreams that took him away from the streets. The last time I saw him he was trying to clean up, talking about getting his GED and discussing plans for college. He always had a plan.

The tragedy of this fire should not be understated. It is not just that lives were lost, but a major problem within the city itself has been made as glaring as the flames. Homelessness, of both transient youth and those who have lost homes because of economic and health reasons, needs to be taken more seriously in New Orleans. With less than 900 beds to offer to the thousands of homeless residents, how can we say that we are a Christian city? While the organization that are around do their best, more needs to be done. This was a tragedy that could have and should have been prevented.  Sammy and the other souls that perished with him were seeking one thing: warmth. They did not die because they were addicts, or criminals, or “gutter punks,” they died because they wanted to stay warm on one of the coldest nights in New Orleans. 

New Orleans is a city that attracts many people for many different reasons. We are a city that loves their musicians and artists, but what are we doing to help those who come to this city to escape? What are we doing to help not only the unwanted of the world, but the unwanted youth who are attracted to this city because of the fantasy that has been built up around it? If we are citizens are willing to facilitate the creation of this fantasy, we must in part facilitate not the upholding, but the helping to reality when the fantasy crumbles. We must do something to ensure that our homeless are given something other than an empty warehouse and a barrel fire.

I do not say this because I am on a soap box. I am one of many who have passed up an up raised palm asking for change. I have a family of four to support, and work my damnedest to do so on a teacher’s salary. But I will say this; the tragedy of those deaths will cause me to think twice when walking by a group of youths huddled in a door frame begging for change. Tattoos and piercings do not an addict or criminal make, but on a cold night we are all human, seeking to have just a little warmth. 

We live in a country that cares more for those overseas then those at home. We send millions of dollars in relief money to countries devastated by war, famine, natural disaster, and disasters of our own making. Yet we seem to forget that we are not perfect. What about the people here who are starving, cold, homeless? Where is their relief? Where is the aid to help our own country? Where are the celebrities rushing to adopt the unwanted children of America? 

Sammy was not a beggar. As long as I have known him, he worked whatever work he could. Sure, he had problems to battle, but show me a person who doesn’t and I will show you a liar. Where was the aid to help him, and the others with him? Where was the overabundance of care seen by other nations that our own seems to so freely give out without looking back to their own people? 

There was a waste of youth in that fire.

It will be a long time before I am able to walk the streets of the French Quarter, a neighborhood I at one time lived in, before I am able to stop looking in every bar entrance for Sammy. Looking for his smile and a hug; happy to know that he is still pushing forward.

So, in a regretful closing, I drink this one to you Sammy. Know that you were never far from my thoughts, even when I hadn’t seen you in too long.

Getting off Track

The quickest way to get off track with dieting and exercise is to have a sick child. My youngest step-daughter was sick last week, so three am nights did not make for early morning walks. She is all better now, but I have been completely thrown off my of my P90X schedule. I am trying to catch up, but will be skipping a few days. Today will be KenpoX, before Boardwalk Empire tonight.

I have been trying to enjoy the world of salads lately, but that has not been working out as well as I planned. My will power is not there when it comes to choosing between a salad and a chili cheese hot dog. I am a sad panda.

On a completely different note, I have a few new craft projects to show off! A close fried of mine had a baby girl on Friday, and I brought her two handmade baby presents. One was a knitted, pink and purple, circular baby blanket, and the other an embroidered picture of Alice from one of the original illustrations. My dear friend, The Frazzled Crafter, helped me to frame up the embroidery, since I am totally lost when it comes to those things. Apparently, cutting computer paper for a matte is just not done.

I am very proud with how Alice turned out, and she will be beautiful hanging over a little girl's crib! This is one of the largest embroidery pieces I have ever done, and I think she pulled together nicely. Another friend helped me with creating the image, since my drawing skills are fairly null and void (I once had my stick figures redrawn for me, true story). She was embroidered onto raw linen using cotton threads from my stash. She was originally going to grace my own wall, or possibly my empty etsy shop, but now she will forever be part of my friend's new little girl's life. I think Alice would prefer it this way. I'm not against making more, mind you, I really enjoyed stitching her up while watching TV.

I have been having the urge to pursue more embroidery projects recently, ones that involve using plain wooden hoops as frames, but I need to buy the frames. And come up with ideas. Embroidery is just a great relaxer for me, and doesn't require nearly as much conscious thought on my part as knitting does!

With Halloween, my most favorite of all holidays, right around the corner I am beginning to draw up concept ideas for this years costume. My friends and I often go with a group theme, and this year it will be The Tick. The Frazzled Crafter is going to be our big blue superhero, while I shall be joining in as her hyper intelligent, though not as brave, sidekick Arthur. We will also have a Chairface Chippendale (my husband), as well as a Bat Manuel. While sketching out preliminary ideas, I have decided to make the entire costume out of xxx-large men's white t-shirts for budgetary reasons, as well as comfort. I found a great tutorial online for reconstructing a large t-shirt into a fitted one that I will be using to create the dress. I am pretty excited to get started on this project, and will post pictures are I progress.

I will be testing out this tutorial first, reconstructing a few shirts that are just too big for me to see how it works before venturing into my costume. Test pieces are important!

Well, that is all. There is a Saints game on, fingers are crossed for THREE DAT!

Tonight, food won

Today was a good workout day, but food won out in the end. I began day two of P90X with hope, but was unable to complete the entire hour of Plyometrics. I had a solid half hour in before I felt I couldn't go on. But, I did succeed in supplementing my workout with a 2+ mile walk. That got me a decent calorie burn, as well as a nice full body workout.

Now, for food... I did fine during the day. My lunch was sensible - two cheese and ham rolls, omitting the bread again. Dinner was an awesomely filling  salad, including not only spinach and tomatoes, but also sweet peppers and cucumbers. I even allowed myself a treat of a sugar free ice cream sandwich. But, things turned down hill around 10pm, when sleep had yet to prevail and water was no longer filling my stomach. Insert turkey sandwich on some special Sarah Lee, Omega 3 bread (very tasty!) with a slice of muenster and spinach. Then, my husband made bacon. My major weakness... warm, crisp, slightly gooey, bacon. Maple smoked bacon. Three slices later, I am lying in bed, watching Robot Chicken, thinking of my favorite line from the producers: "You're a fatty fat fat fat!"

Tonight, I am a fatty fat fat. Tomorrow, I will try harder, and incorporate added workouts to help make up for this lapse. I won't be able to walk in the evening, but the morning will be open.

On a non-diet related note, my current reading of "Misfortune" by Wesley Stace in dragging on. It's not that the story isn't interesting, but the style of this one is definitely lacking compared to "By George", penned by the same author. Also, I have to finish the special knitted present I am working on, when that occurs, I will post pictures. As of now, it is sitting on the needles, the sad partner in an unfinished pair waiting to be ended and bound off. I am creating this pattern from scratch, which is exciting. The next project after this will be a very advantageous baby blanket, which I hope I will have the money to purchase the yarn for eventually.

I am hoping to be employed soon. I have two writing gigs to "audition" for, and training starts on Monday for the online teaching gig.  The extra income will be nice, and make buying healthy food much easier. It's sad that it's cheaper to buy processed foods than it is to buy fresh fruit and veggies. So the world we live in...

I guess on that note... more to come, I am surprised that I actually managed two posts this week. GO ME!


Tomorrow, I will NOT be a fatty fat fat. Tomorrow, I will not let the food win. I shall also knit, and watch "The Queen." I will also complete the P90X workout entirely, arms and abs I think.

A yoga mat is important...

So today marks the start of the first day of phase 1 of the P90X system. I plan on posting progress photos as a way for me to see my own progress. My implementation of the P90X system will also include a high fruit/veggie, low carb "diet" as well as extended walks and jogs in my neighborhood.

Need to make that flatter!

My husband is also going through this journey with me, well at least the P90X part. My goal is to loose a substantial amount of weight, as well as toning in my midsection, before Halloween. The hardest part for me will be sticking to a diet. I am Italian, carbs are what keep me sane. But, I know that consuming too much carb laced food will be counter productive. I also live in New Orleans, home to some of the best and fattiest food known to man. And I LOVE food. In the "I will nom nom nom all over that" way.

Please ignore the messy bedroom behind!

So, pretty much, you expect me to be on here every now and then, lamenting my woes about working out and dieting. Discussing the struggles of dieting while still cooking healthy and hearty family meals for everyone else. And in general bitching about my low scrabble scores. Pictures will be posted to indicate progress, not sure how frequently, but hopefully frequently enough that I will be able to see how my body is changing. I know I'm not the biggest person in the world, and I have no desire to be the smallest either. I just want to be toned and fit, in better shape, closer to how I was as an undergrad in college.

Also, when doing this workout, here is a tip: A yoga mat is VERY important for the ab ripper x. Why you may ask? Because back farts are not fun and very distracting. It was hard to keep myself from lying on the floor laughing instead of doing the routine. Once the money is available, we will be purchasing another yoga mat, so my husband can stop using mine!

Current weight: 174lbs (or 12st 6lb for any British followers)
Breakfast: skipped, I slept in
Lunch: 1 banana, 1 raspberry yogurt, and two ham and cheese rolls (I am FULL!)
Dinner: the goal is a salad... but I haven't gotten that far in the day yet!

In the beginning...

In the beginning, there was light...

There was also rain. It has been a very rainy day here in NOLA, but I have been hard at work, writing, editing, doing things I love to do.

Tonight is Summer Mardi Gras, and I am hoping that the rain holds out for this, as I would like to do SOMETHING while I can!